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Twilight Books 'Summary'.
  • — Book 1. Twilight:
  • Edward: Hey.
  • Bella: OMG, I'm so silly. And horny.
  • Edward: Yes. I'm dangerous. I sparkle.
  • Bella: OMG you're a vampire!
  • Edward: Yes. Let's go play baseball.
  • James: I like your girl, Edward. Gotta eat her.
  • Edward: Roar.
  • James: Omnomnom Bella.
  • Bella: OMG I'm screaming in agony! Yes, I will be a vampire!
  • Edward: I'm gonna kill you, James! I'm gonna suck Bella as well. LOLJK you're not a vamp.
  • Jacob: Oh, hi there!
  • — Book 2. New Moon:
  • Edward: Oops, gotta go.
  • Bella: OMG don't leave me! OMG I'm so depressed and dying in agony again.
  • Jacob: Oh hi there! I'm a semi-naked shape-shifter! (I mean, a werewolf!)
  • Bella: OMG I don't miss Edward anymore, I love you Jake!
  • Alice: Edward is gonna kill himself!
  • Bella: OMG no! BRB Jake, you're not important anymore.
  • Edward: I'm going to do the worst ever. I will sparkle Italians to death.
  • Volturi: You suck.
  • Bella: OMG leave him alone!
  • Volturi: OK, leave now bitches.
  • Jacob: I love you, Bella.
  • Bella: OMG I love Edward more, bye!
  • — Book 3. Eclipse:
  • Victoria: I'm back, bitch! I'ma cut you!
  • Bella: OMG no!
  • Edward: I'ma protect you, dinner! (I mean, Bella)
  • Jacob: I want to kill her too!
  • Riley: I will kill you!
  • Bella: OMG I'm frozen!
  • Edward: Shit I'm so cold and can't get you hot.
  • Jacob: Move on bitch, I will warm this whore.
  • Victoria: You missed me bitches?
  • Edward: I killed James, you twat! Now you're dead!
  • Bella: OMG kiss me Jake! Kay, gotta go I'm marrying Edward.
  • — Book 4. Breaking Dawn:
  • Edward: I don't want to fuck you, Bella. Marry me first.
  • Bella: OMG shit, okay.
  • Jacob: My heart is broken!
  • Bella: OMG and so is my water! I've been prego for 3 days and now my baby is ready to go!
  • Edward: Oh no, a monster!
  • Renesmee: I'ma kill you, mom :3
  • Volturi: We're gonna kill that bitch, she's a monster.
  • Bella: OMG finally I'm a vampire! I'ma protect ma man and ma family and some other random bitches.
  • Volturi: Fine, you won.
  • Jacob: Bella I never loved you. I wanna fuck your daughter.
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    Twilight:Edward: Hey.Bella:...her.Edward: Roar.James:
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